Show me my brudder...

Ems and I are just hangin in the basement. Got some "dancing queen" goin in the background with Ellie and Ryan dancing some sweet sprinkler----lawn mower---moves.

She brings the globe over to me. Says "mom, show me my brudder." (Brother)
She puts one finger on Ethiopia and one on Ohio. She thinks.
"Mom, when you DO go dhere (there), it's a loooong loooong way. Will the car ride even be longer than Hilton Head?"
(Love that!)

I explain that I will be flying on a plane...giggling at her innocence. She then realizes I will be gone more than one day and opens her mouth wide: "oh no mom. You're gonna have to sleep dhere!!!!

And the food...what will you EAT?"

A short conversation like this with my 5 year old babe makes me smile and so so excited that she will be a big sister to yet another little dude. Her questions/understanding about adoption keep me pure and simple as we wait...and pursue.

Encouraged

It's just fun to hear stories about other families who have adopted, or are in the process like us. It's fun to know that having a family that doesn't all look alike isn't the MOST abnormal thing in the world. It's fun to see adopted kiddos become so acclimated to their families. It's fun to hear my girls, and even Griff, talk about Ethiopia, ask about their brother, and even remind me of this little guy out there somewhere.

Last night Ryan and I were heading out for a life group night. Ellie was upset about us leaving her behind, with a babysitter (which I found out hours later was because she had a major puke-fest brewing in her). I told her that although we NEED to go out sometimes, just mommy and daddy, there are no other people in the entire world I want to be with more than her, Emma, and Griff...and of course daddy. She said to me "uhhhhhh....and who elsssssse?" I said "ummmmm, Jesus?" :)

Ellie's response: "no mom, our brother in Ethiopia! We don't know him yet but you know that if you could pick one other person you'd want to be with all the time it would be HIM, right?"

Loved that.

So, even though these days of waiting are ohhhh so long and seemingly endless, we still get to enjoy the stories of friends and acquaintances walking in this with us. And we get to look forward to "the day" with our kids. They will never forget this time of waiting and preparation. The lessons we will learn...!!!!

"Do not be Discouraged"

We know when the title of an email from Lifeline, our adoption agency, begins that way, that a somewhat discouraging email is about to follow.

We did not move spots last month and remain #46, the same as last month. Yes, discouraging indeed. It's "funny," for lack of a better word, that we envisioned getting our referral sometime this spring. Now that we're approaching spring, we're feeling less hopeful about that. The reason our agency gave us, for the slow month of February was this:

"West Sands Adoptions received their renewed 3 year license to continue adoptions in Ethiopia!  In addition, many orphanages also went through the license renewal process – so that also impacted the amount of referrals given this month.  The courts were on a delay in February but they are open and processing cases again."

So....that's actually all good stuff! Adoptions are still moving... and healthy... and HAPPENING in Ethiopia!! The courts still have a good relationship with our main agency. And, even BETTER...we have two friends that received their referrals from Ethiopia last month. Neither live in Toledo or are using our agency, but they both found out who their son/daughter will be. It is unbelievable the joy and excitement Ryan and I feel for them. We can't wait for our turn, but we love to see families get to take steps closer in becoming whole and complete. 

Just Wanted Mom

Tonight was a realization for me, of what MOM is, to a child.

I came home from our life group around 8:00. Our sweet babysitter was busy with the kids upstairs. I heard Griffin in the monitor, crying--like real tears. He was, quite miserably, talking/fussing about something. This is not normal for my "please-put-me-to-bed-by-7:00, " and "I-run-and-jump-and-dance-all-day-so-I'm-ready-to-pass-out" handsome little dude.

As I was walking upstairs I heard Griffin mumble through his tears, from his bed:
"I just want mommy! I do! I dooooo! Mommy HERE pleeeeeeease!"

I couldn't get in his room quick enough.

I scooped that little/big-boy up in my arms and hugged him so tight. He embraced me and burrowed into my neck. Griffin said nothing. I said nothing. Didn't need to. He knew I was home and I was there. I soaked it up and smooched those cheeks (It was a "moment," okay?).

After a few minutes of snuggling my son, I laid him down and walked out of his room. He was quiet and comfortable and reassured. I was content and happy that I was able to fulfill the need he had for love, at that particular moment.

2 things that came to mind as I walked from Griffin's room, onto Ellie's room to tuck her in:

1) I won't always be able to make this kid happy, or reassure him or fulfill him like he might long for another person to do. In fact, I can't do it now. Man oh man this precious boy needs Jesus in His life. I just pray that my hugs and reassurance point my son to God his Father!

2)   I'm sad that there are so so so many orphans in America, and in countries all over the world, that either wouldn't consider crying out for their mom like that, OR don't even know HOW to. Or that they can.

I have another son. He is far away from this room right now, and he doesn't know I'm his mom. I can't help but have emotion when I think about this boy. I totally have a feeling that he's born already. But I don't know his name, what he looks like, or how old he is. My heart ached tonight as I thought that my other son is one of those kids out there that isn't crying out for Mom tonight. He's not saying "I just want mommy! I do! I doooooo! Mommy HERE pleeeeeeease!" Who knows if there is someone to scoop him up.

And truthfully, I can't help but wonder how long it will take this boy to look to Ryan or me for that kind of reassurance and affection. Praying he feels safe and comfortable here in this home. Attachment is a "token word" you hear in the adoption community. It matters a lot, as we want our adopted children to blend well and know WE are mom and dad, and how we love them oh so much.

Just some thoughts on my mind. Griff just wanted Mom tonight. I loved that I could walk in and be there.
I long for the day to be able to do that for his little brother.

Fundraising Update

We are blessed. We are so thankful to so many of you guys, who have supported us and continue to do so. Thank you for being a part of bringing our son home. When talking at church yesterday with a friend, she mentioned how crazy fast our process seems to be going. Until she said that, I didn't realize that we really have indeed been sailing on such smooth waters. We feel God in this. And we continue to trust him, as we know that we are far from done as we still don't even know who this little boy is. The total cost of our Ethiopian adoption is just under $30,000. In addition to the $10,000 of our own money we have put into this process, we have currently raised $18,115!!! Thank you, friends and family, for your support. Thanks for being our cheerleaders and biggest fans. Thanks for the words you have said to us and prayers you have spoken over us. We know we are loved and we are grateful.

February news

Maybe some good news and maybe some bad news...?

We received our email update and were told that we moved 3 spots last month. We went from #50 to #47. We were obviously hoping for more of a jump, but as we are always told, "ANY MOVEMENT/progress is a good thing."

The good news is this...
There were actually 4 referrals given out in January (even though we only moved 3) and ALL of them were in the 0-2 category!!!
That is great for us because it gets us closer to the top of OUR specific category. You see, even though we are now #47, we will get our referral when no one ahead of us is requesting the exact same child as the Snow Family: 0-2 boy.
So we could be any number on the list and all of a sudden get our picture!!! It all depends on who is requesting who, ahead of us.

So folks, THIS IS WHY adoption is a long waiting game. THIS IS WHY it's impossible to answer the question "when will you get your baby?" And THIS IS WHY we have to literally make huge efforts to focus on the fact that we're called to this, even when it's not convenient or quick or easy or aligning with our plans for our family.

How can you support us in this?
Please pray alongside us. This is how we are praying right now:

*Assuming this babe is already born, pray that he will quickly and safely be put in an orphanage
*pray that by God's grace there would be a caregiver at his orphanage that gives him love and attention
*pray for patience for Ryan and I. We have patient hearts now but soon it will get tough, really tough.
*pray for this coming Feb.9 as we are having our adoption dessert/fundraising night. Praying for provision and just the BEST celebration ever. :)


Excited for the day this wall has a frame with a little African face in it.

Ethiopia

We are learning a lot about this country and are humbled by the truth of its depravity. But, we are also learning about the beauty of the people and the country.

We are learning a lot about adoption...and beginning to feel how long this process can REALLY feel. We should be getting our next update tomorrow to find out what number we are on the list. Slightly nervous but hopeful we will see great movement.

Thankful for our good friends that have gone before us in this process.
Praying that there will be other good friends that follow behind us in this process.

Trusting God for His provision. OH how he provides!

Thankful for all of our incredible family and friends who have supported us financially...totally humbled and blessed by you.