From lifelinechild.org

Our adoption agency has a great adoption blog. This entry jumped at me. Says so perfectly what Ryan and I have talked about many times...the process of incorporating ALL of our kids into the SNOW family. Makes me excited to someday know who this little dude will be...

"People often say that Nathan is “lucky” that we adopted him.  Frankly, as his momma I find this mildly irritating, but I appreciate the compliment and spirit behind it.  But I’m floored.  WE are so blessed to have this amazing boy as our son.  Blessed by the painful sacrifice of his birthmom.  Blessed that God worked in so many incredible ways to make this adoption happen.  I hope that it goes both ways.  I want to bless my boy.  I think a beautiful picture of family is each member giving to the rest, everyone blessed and thankful to be a part.

I guess the sticky part for me is that I seldom hear people telling biological kids that they’re lucky to be in their family.  I don’t want my son to grow up with a sense of unworthiness or debt hanging over his head.  (“You’re so lucky…you’d better be _____.”)  Family shouldn’t come with strings attached.  And the gift goes both ways.
At the same time, I don’t want to overindulge him, and treat him in ways that would hinder him later in life."

What IS a legacy?

Ellie asked me the other day if someday she could adopt a kid, too. That hit home for me because that is the point! That is one little/big thing we would love to see re-created. :) As a friend of mine said in a precious note today, adoption shouldn't just be something "the crazy people" take under their wings. Nope. Ryan and I want a legacy of adoption to be planted into our kids. Why? Because we believe we are adopted into a family much bigger and sweeter and worthwhile than just being a human on this earth who undergoes a VERY fast life cycle. 

Good ol' Webster says a legacy is:

**a gift of property, especially personal property, by will; a bequest.

**anything handed down from the past

My brother in law said this past weekend, while speaking at my mother-in-law's memorial service,  that a legacy is left IN people. The pastor went on to say that we leave pieces of ourselves in the lives we touch.

I'm sure a lot of people have a lot of different opinions on how to live life well and make impact. Some people incorporate faith and religion, some people just live life, cross their fingers, and hope for the best. 
I have no clue if people ever really know the legacy they are creating, or will leave behind when they're gone. I think it's certainly IN the life I/we are leading, though. And I know that Ryan and I have 3 pairs of eyes staring at us every.single.day that are following our lead. And someday, another pair of eyes will travel 26 hours on an airplane to follow our lead, too.

A good friend of mine recently was asked why he was adopting. His immediate response was, "life is too short not to." That response captures part of our answer. The legacy we do want to leave is one in which we model for our kids the brevity of this life, and yet the amazing opportunities it gives us!!

So, I guess what I'm thinkin' about tonight is that I want to leave a legacy in my kids. Period. That's what I want. And that's not just in regards to building a family through adoption, although that is one way for us. It's also modeling laughter, vulnerability, a need for Jesus, and saying "I'm sorry."
I'm a lucky gal that I GET to have days to live with these small people in my home. They make me happy. I am excited for our little African dude to jump in.

WORDS

I just got home from working out. I always see the same women at this 5:30 AM class I go to, as we've been exercising together for quite awhile now. AND, I think they all know our family is expanding in the form of adoption. Maybe it's just because I heard a message/sermon on WORDS last night, and how much power our words have on other people, but I couldn't help but hear these words as some women were chit chatting...

"I think she has several real kids, and then also adopted a few."

It's just the beginning, I know.
I jokingly say that the rude/awkward comments and stares our family received when Griffin had to wear a molding helmet, to shape his head, would prepare me for the floundering comments and questions that await me in the adoption process. :)

I don't think I'm quite ready for all of that. I am a defensive person. In fact, talking with Ryan last night about marriage, life, death...the whole 9 yards...reminded me again that I'm a defensive person. Sooooo, I am realizing this morning that I have to pray for a softened heart to many of the strangers who will say/ask things about the adoption process that might come off, incognito to them, rather curt.

I read a story the other day of an adoptive mother whose son was taken by security while they were walking through a museum. The guards responded to their inquiries with a comment that "they didn't know he "belonged" to anyone because he was dark skinned, they were not, and no one in the room looked like him." Gulp...

So, I guess, herein begins a new journey with words.
Praying for grace in our hearts, and for God to prepare us for the differences in parenting (and questions we will receive) that await us! YES! Excited to know and love this child someday, up close! Excited to, with a large smile, introduce museum guards or fellow exercise buddies, to OUR SON.